Why I hate New Year's Eve

I wonder what the ratio of "I hate New Year" to "I love New Year" blog posts is.  I reckon both will be as common as sand at a beach around this time of year.  I find it a time of year that it is impossible to be ambivalent about.  Personally I dont go in for New Year's resolutions.  I find them a bit like declarations of love on Valentine's Day, the fact that we are "supposed" to make them renders them meaningless.  And who is actually going to keep a meaningless resolution!  

That said, New Year definitely makes me re-evaluate my life, and so I can see that spontaneous resolutions from that introspection might actually be more genuine.

There is also a benefit in stating ones goals to the world in that it makes you accountable (and hopefully therefore more motivated to achieve them).  Obviously the more concrete these goals are the better, though not all desires can necessarily be most accurately captured using measurable targets. 

So...my goals for 2011 are...

1. Buy a van
2. Begin the conversion
3. Finish my Cognitive Psychology module without going insane

Hopefully none of those will prove too challenging.  I feel like there should be some additional goals on there, some which are more inspirational and demanding.  But that's a feeling I have about my life in general, and like I said, I dont do New Year's resolutions!  I find New Year the worst time of the year.  Partly because there is so little daylight and the whole world seems cold and grey.  Partly because it makes me think about the previous year, the mistakes I have made, and how far I am from where I would like to be in my life.  This year I have made a lot of mistakes.  Far too many.  Maybe goal number 4 should be to stop making mistakes.  If only that were achievable.  It would be nice to be one of those people who see New Year as a fresh start, a clean slate, a new opportunity.  Unfortunately I am not so good at releasing my hold on the past.

Sally fell yesterday and hurt her shoulder.  For the first time, she looked old, frail and horrifyingly mortal to me.  I cannot imagine life without that dog, it isnt a reality I want to face.