Doubt doubt doubt

I am having a massive meltdown over my van plans.

The German dealer is refusing to fix the windscreen on the van I found - which in itself isnt a massive deal.  But it has made me do a total U-turn from being super confident in what Im doing to being crushed by doubt.

Should I be buying a van from a dealer who isnt even prepared to make it road legal?  I think not.  Do I really need a left hand drive vehicle THAT badly that its beneficial to put myself through all this stress, hassle, risk and cost to get one from overseas?  Do I really need a popup roof if it is essentially halving the amount I have available to spend on the thing that matters - a reliable base vehicle?  Am I even going to save that much money by converting the van myself?  Am I even capable of achieving a decent conversion or is it just going to be one everlasting disaster?

I think I have made so many bad decisions recently that I just dont trust myself at all any more.

I emailed the German dealer asking him if he would reduce the price given that I would have to go and get some work done over there before bringing the vehicle home.  He hasnt replied.  He said he would send me the Verkauftrag (contract of sale) to look at.  He hasnt.  I have such a bad feeling about it all now I feel like I should just cut my losses and run.

I am researching vehicles on Ebay in the UK to see what fully done out conversions are going for, and also what I could get if I abandoned the popup-roof idea and put the extra £2000 towards the vehicle.

This is crazy stressful.  I guess the real source of the problem is that, as ever, I only know what I dont want.  I dont know what I want, so I dont know what to fight for.

"Judge not the Lord with feeble strength, but trust Him from His grace."