Time changes everything

So this is the last of my expansions on my "What I've learnt about love" post.  Following my elaboration on what I meant when I referred to the light and the dark sides of love I also felt like further explanation was required when I said I had learnt that... "Time changes everything.  Don't look for that which is eternal, but seek that which will be continuously renewed".

In that perfect, life like the movies, so-called reality that I was encultured into striving for, dreaming about and believing in, I met the concept of the perfect relationship.  The perfect marriage.  A perfection that lies in stability, constancy and unchanging love.  Not only does marriage last forever, but the adventure ends when the couple gets married.  Curtain closed, happily-ever-after.

And yet this conflicted with so much else that I desired and so much else that I knew.  People thrive on change and challenges.  The idea of marriage is also associated with concepts such as staleness, boredom and unwanted ties.  Even the very phrase "settle down" carries such a negative connotation.

It's as if I were being told to strive for something I didn't even want.  Or something I knew did not exist.

Because I also knew that time changes everything.  We are told that time heals all, I had seen that time changes our lives, our bodies, our thoughts and who we are.  Sometimes I didn't particularly like this, and sometimes I recognised it as the unstoppable driving force behind my existence, but I knew it nevertheless.

So what I have learnt is that I should not view relationships as static, but embrace them as changing.  This doesn't mean that I can't be with one guy for the rest of my life, it doesn't mean I can't be married.  But it does mean that instead of looking for something which is immovable against the forces of time, I should be looking for something which is continuously renewed.

Because time changes everything.  A love which is static will be broken as time washes over it.  Try to prevent changes, or ignore them, and chances are those changes will sweep two people in opposite directions.  But aim for change, focus on renewal and even if I have no interest in a love which lasts a lifetime, I am certain that I will find so much more that is worthy of my love.

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